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And yet certain injuries linger. Since the assault, she’s experienced unexplained blackouts, most recently while having dinner with her cousin and a friend in New York, an episode her doctors say could have been triggered by another spiked drink. “All I can tell you is that it’s the most scared I’ve ever been,” says Coel, who remembers stumbling toward the restaurant’s exit before losing her vision for 15 minutes. “The strange thing is when I was spiked, there’s a complete memory gap,” she says. She doesn’t remember falling, as her character does in the show. “There’s no memory of fear.”
Coel first shared her story publicly at the Edinburgh International Television Festival in 2018, where she was invited to deliver the prestigious keynote speech, known as the MacTaggart lecture, the first Black woman in the event’s 42-year history to do so. In the address, she spoke candidly about the experiences that had shaped her perspective, including her harrowing assault, the racism she faced at drama school, and the isolation she felt in the entertainment world. The speech, which formed the basis of her 2021 book Misfits: A Personal Manifesto, would also serve as a creative springboard for I May Destroy You. Its import was clear: The industry needed to be held accountable, to be more transparent, to lift up voices like hers that had been silenced for far too long.
And yet physically her voice was failing her. “I don’t know if you listened to the audiobook of Misfits, but I’m so hoarse. I have so many nodules and a blood blister on my vocal chords,” explains Coel, adding that, in preparation for our interview, she was prescribed medication and two days of vocal rest in order to be able to speak. It’s part of the reason Coel, a theater kid at heart, has more often than not found herself in front of a camera and not on the stage. “My voice is too fragile for theater.”
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